


Welcome to Janopia

by CappuccettoRosso



Series: Konoha in Space [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Gen, KakaIru Fest Summer 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:42:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25797598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CappuccettoRosso/pseuds/CappuccettoRosso
Summary: Becoming the sovereign ruler of the Nine Inner Planetary Systems, Tsunade expected many things. She didn't expect to be chased by space pirates and her ship to be commandeered. She didn't sign up for this!
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Series: Konoha in Space [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1871566
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36
Collections: Nine Weeks of Summer 2020





	Welcome to Janopia

**Author's Note:**

> This is (very) late, but I finally got this in! My contribution to the KakaIru fest: Nine Weeks of Summer. Week one prompt: sci fi.

* * *

The room shakes and starts to tilt to one side. Tsunade slides across the room until she crashes against the wall. She curses when she hits her elbow.

"What the hell is going on?!"

Shizune tries to reach her but trips over a vase. She manages to catch herself but then the room tilts again, in the opposite direction, and an ottoman knocks her off her feet. She lands on her face.

"Ow!"

Tsunade manages to regain her balance and darts toward the intercom before the room decides to move again. She presses the button to activate the intercom and shouts. "What the hell are you guys doing to my ship!"

There is a moment of silence and then a breathless voice comes through.

"I apologize, Tsunade- _sama_ , unless you have a medical emergency, I request that you remain off the comm. system."

Tsunade can feel her blood pressure rising. "This _is_ an emergency. I demand that you tell me--!"

"Your Majesty," the voice interrupts, sounding more professional and firm. "Please refrain from using the intercom. We are under a level red emergency. The intercom system is for medical emergencies only." Then the line went silent.

"Hello? Hello!" Tsunade presses the button rapidly but the intercom doesn't connect. "I'll have all your heads! I am your queen! I demand that you answer me!"

"Tsunade- _sama_!" Shizune comes to stand next to her. She is pinching the bridge of her nose to stem off the nose bleed. The front of her robes is stained with droplets of blood. "Perhaps we should strap in?" She gestures toward the receiving room of the suite. The couch is bolted to the floor so has remained in place. The same cannot be said for the rest of the furniture in the room. The suite is a mess. As for the couch, there are safety belts tucked between the cushions, she knows.

"No," Tsunade snaps. She moves toward the door. The ship starts to shake again, hard enough to knock her off her feet. She and Shizune press against the wall and they wait for a moment. The shakes slowly stop. Tsunade takes her chance and walks out of her room.

The hallway is sheer chaos. There are alarm claxons ringing loudly and red lights flashing. Crew members are moving swiftly, their expressions tight and controlled. They don't spare her a look, completely focused on their task. Tsunade grits her teeth and moves to stop in front of a random officer. Before she could demand answers, there is a violent jerk and she is practically thrown to the side.

"Fuck!"

"Your majesty!"

"What the hell is going on!" Tsunade snarls.

Overhead, the overhead intercom turns on.

_"Err…this is your captain speaking…"_

Tsunade reflexively looks up. She ignores the officer as they check her over and then leaves. She narrows her eyes in suspicion because that is not the voice of the captain.

_"We are currently cruising through an asteroid field."_ There is a pause and then: _"Well when I say asteroid field, I mean the detritus left behind by destroyed enemy vessels!"_

Tsunade stands up and heads toward one of the lifts. Behind her, Shizune calls her name. Tsunade doesn't stop and darts into the lift before Shizune could grab her. The door closes with a hiss ."To the bride, dammit," she says to the computer.

_"We are flying at warp three. Weather looks well…non-existent! We are in space, after all, and with space being a giant vacuum where no one can hear you scream… but I'm sure the weather at our destination is lovely this time of year!"_

The lift door opens and Tsunade stomps out. "What the hell is going on here!" The bridge is an organized disaster, like the rest of the ship. There are officers scrambling everywhere, trying to deal with the emergencies being reported by different departments. She can see a lot of flashing warning signs and buttons blinking furiously. Some of the officers are shouting into their headsets, giving out orders, or reporting ship status. No one has noticed her. She turns to the captain's chair.

She stops when she sees a stranger standing in front of the captain's chair. The stranger looks humanoid, tall, and lanky. From where she stands, Tsunade can't guess what race they are, much less their gender. Their only distinguishing feature is the mop of gray hair on their head, the sight of which makes her feel uneasy for some reason.

She shakes off the feeling and approaches with a fierce scowl on her face.

"We are expected to enter Janopia space in umm," the stranger pauses and turns toward the navigator. Or where the navigator should be. The seat is empty. The actual navigator is giving first aid to another member of the crew who had burn hands. "Ah…soon. Soonish. I'll let you know when we get there. So Captain out!" They gesture sharply at the communication officer and then smoothly spins on a heel to meet her.

"Tsunade- _sama_ ," the stranger says. They have the gall to give her a little wave.

Tsunade opens and closes her mouth. She points rudely. "You!"

The stranger presses a hand to their chest. "Me!"

"What are you doing here! On my ship! Where is the captain?!" Tsunade looks around again. She finally spots the real captain of her ship. The captain crawls from beneath one of the consoles. They look awkward as they greet Tsunade. There are tools in their hands, their uniform is wrinkled and there is something smeared on their face. The computer behind them starts to spark, making the captain jump away.

"I apologize, your Majesty, but Hatake-san pulled rank and well…" the captain hurries to explain. More sparks come out of the computer. "If you would excuse me I have to…" The captain dives beneath the console again.

Tsunade stares for a long moment before she turns back to the little shit. The little shit, as she knew him, was Hatake Kakashi. Hatake Kakashi, known by the rest of the universe as the Hound, the best of the Imperial Shadow Agents. Hound, the elite of the elite, capable of toppling governments and tracking down enemies from one end of the universe to the other.

Hound, who as far as she knew, was taken out back and shot several years ago.

"I thought you were dead," Tsunade says. She doesn't know if she feels happy to see him or pissed that someone dared to lie to her.

Hatake blinks at her. "I did."

Tsunade raises an eyebrow. She gestures toward his whole self. "Of course."

Hatake smiles, or she assumes he is smiling. It is hard to tell since he insists on wearing a mask that covers the bottom half of his face and an eye patch over his left eye. His right eye is the only part of his face that is clearly visible and it curls up at the corner. "Death was boring, so I came back. Got me a real job."

Tsunade snorts. "Commandeering an Imperial Vessel? Falsifying government credentials? Kidnapping a sovereign ruler? Is that part of your job description now?"

Hatake shrugs. "Among other things, yes. Honestly, not very different from my last job, just now my law-breaking is not sanctioned by the Empire."

"You ass," Tsunade says, feeling her lips twitch. She has to admit, a part of her is happy to see him. Still, she needs answers. "Give me a rundown of what is happening."

"We are being chased by pirates, Your Majesty," Hatake says, voice lazy and with a trace of humor. His eye looks serious, though. "Though not your average pirates. These seem to have a powerful backer since they managed to get a hold of some impressive ships." The ship gives a violent shudder again. Tsunade grabs hold of the back of the Captain's chair. Hatake barely moves.

"Our shields are failing, Captain! We are down to twenty percent!"

"What!" Tsunade shouts. "How can that be? The shields on this ship are top of the line. It should be able to hold up to any type of firepower."

"Like I said, someone powerful." Hatake contemplates the large viewscreen. The stars are just a streak of lights. "How far are we from Janopia space?"

The navigator comes back to their console and tries to get a reading. Most of the console is dark or glitching. The officer shots him a helpless look. "S-sir, my computer it's…"

Suddenly the ship jerks to a stop. A complete stop, so hard and sudden it was like the ship slammed against a wall. Everyone on board is caught off guard and ends up on the floor. For the people in the bridge, they end up in a pile beneath the main viewscreen.

"Get off of me!" Tsunade shouts as she feels limbs touching her. "I did not sign up for this! Damn you, Sarutobi- _sensei_!"

There is much groaning and cursing as they try to untangle themselves. The lift doors open and Shizune runs inside.

"My lady!" She rushes forward and pulls Tsunade to her feet. "Are you alright?! Do I need to call a medic!"

"I'm fine!" Tsunade snaps and smooths down her hair. She turns to Hatake who has climbed to his feet. He stares at the viewscreen. Tsunade turns to look too.

The infinity of space spreads in front of her. She can only see pure darkness with tiny pinpricks of light from distant stars. There is nothing out there that could have forced their ship from out of warp speed to being dead in the water. A shiver crawls up her spine and she finds her mouth dry. She swallows.

Then a low beeping sounds. The communications officer scrambles to their station and looks at their computer. "Sir! We are receiving a hailing frequency."

"Patch it through," Hatake says. The officer hesitates and glances at their real commanding officer. To his credit, the captain nods.

The view of space switches and the main view screen is filled with the image of a humanoid with brown skin, dark hair, and a scar across his nose. To Tsunade, they appear male. He seems to be standing on a beach. Tsunade can see beautiful blue waters behind him. The man raises his hand and then starts to make a series of clicks and whistles. _Jeiccosa_ , Tsunade thinks. She feels relieved now. They actually made it.

Next to her, Hatake also raises his hand and makes the same series of clicks and whistles. A greeting then. The man on screen smiles wider and laughs.

"Kakashi," he says in standard, his accent curling around the words curiously; "you have been practicing."

"Of course," Hatake says, "I have an excellent teacher."

The man blushes for some reason and looks oddly shy.

Tsunade raises an eyebrow at that, knowing there was juicy gossip there.

The man turns to her then. She unconsciously straightens her back. "Your Majesty, I, named Iruka, keeper of the gate, offers a welcome with an open heart."

"Iruka, keeper of the gate, I, named Tsunade, receive your welcome with an open heart," she says. Normally, this greeting would be said in Jeiccosa, but for the life of her, Tsunade can't get a handle on the language. All the words sound the same.

"Surrender all ill intentions and enter our peaceful waters," Iruka continues. Shizune had briefed her on the Jenopian greeting ritual so Tsunade feels confident.

"I, and those with me, surrender all ill intentions and enter your waters in peace," she says.

Iruka smiles. "Thank you, Your Majesty, you may proceed. All of your energy weapons have been disabled and will remain disabled until you leave. All poisons and other non-energy weapons have been removed from your ship and will be returned to you upon departure."

Tsunade can't stop herself from gapping. "You what…?" When did that happen, she wants to ask, but something stops her. She thinks back to the sudden crash against seemingly nothing.

Shizune leans in close and whispers. "My Lady, this is standard procedure. I'll explain later."

Kakashi clears his throat then. "Ah, one thing, Iruka-gate keeper. We were being followed by some pirates."

Iruka waves a hand lazily. "Yes, and they refused to surrender. They have been banished to the other end of the universe."

Tsunade gapes like an idiot again. She didn't hear that right, right? She turns to Shizune for answers. Shizune looks pale. Okay, so she heard right. They were banished. Right.

Iruka smiles. "Welcome to Janopia."

**Author's Note:**

> I do plan to continue writing the next prompts of the fest in this universe so I hope you enjoy it! I'll try to finish it within the fest time frame. But we'll see. Anywho, I do plan to finish all the prompts, even if I post them after the end of the fest.


End file.
